Book – Heal Your Past, Free Your Future
I love the following testimonial. My thanks to Kristy and everyone else who share their experiences with me:
“Each page of Andrew’s book and every one of his words, gives the feeling of a safe and warm hug, a gentle and encouraging nudge to look within and begin the hero’s journey of self-healing and self-discovery. I have made leaps and bounds in myself; personally, professionally, and spiritually. Simply thinking of his book and words has a calming effect on my soul and system. Highly recommend this journey.” Kristy C
I want to encourage you to take the deep dive that this book offers, remembering Kristy’s reassurances of safety and warmth.
Today’s theme – let’s talk about…. sex.
As a trigger alert, if you do have unresolved sexual trauma this may not be the right article for you.
It’s interesting to me that, even as I type these words, I debate whether its OK to use the word ‘sex’ in a newsletter. Should I have said s*x or talked more loosely about ‘intimacy’. Why have I been blogging for years and not mentioned a subject that comes up in so many of my treatments? I’m aware that I am as deeply caught up in the web of social, cultural and religious programming as the next person. It’s risky and challenging to talk about sex, it could cause offence and negative opinion.
So what is this programming? I’ll share what I can connect with here, but I’m sure you can all add in many more layers. These are the untruths that I have been shown in various ways to be ‘normal’:
Sex is for young people only as ageing bodies are gross and unsexy.
It should always involve penetration
Participants must be instantly aroused and ready for action
A man’s satisfaction is the core priority and often the end point of the experience
A woman’s consent can be inferred from how she presents herself, her marital status, or just her lack of direct objection
Size is important
Bedroom only, curtains closed.
Solitary practice is shameful
Never discuss your experiences
Everyone else is having a lot more sex than you
Men have higher sex drives than women
Some people and body shapes are more sexy than others
Body hair on a woman is unattractive
Sexual interest fades in a relationship and as we age
Fantasies are all unnatural and shameful
It is an animalistic act, not sacred or Divine in any way
Procreation only, not for pleasure.
These are separate points, but there is a common link here of misogyny, of a rule-base designed by men to demean and undermine the importance of women and the sacredness of the act itself.
So, how many of these programmes sit unresolved in your own energy field and belief systems? Is your sexuality constricted by this kind of programming? Who would you be if you could break free? Do you avoid sex rather than risk falling short of these fake ideals?
I journeyed shamanically to ask for an image of how sexuality in the western world looks to Spirit. I was shown the image of a singular shrub surviving, but not thriving, in an arid environment, with no flowers, just a few leaves to keep it alive. The environment felt grey and lifeless.
When I asked what our potential looked like, I was shown the same scene but this time with warm rain falling from the skies. As the earth received this water, the roots of the shrub drew up the nourishment and the whole plant flowered in a glorious way. Around it, the arid environment lit up with a diverse and spectacular array of new growth.
My sense here from that imagery is manifold:
That our sexuality is sacred and nourishes our wider lives and environment
That mother earth is here to support us, that her energy can be drawn up through our roots to help us blossom – you might see this as a connection with kundalini energy or tantric practice.
This nourishment can be gentle. The imagery was soft and loving – sex doesn’t have to be vigorous to be sacred
Ultimately, the shrub was having a singular experience while honouring the connection to all life around it. It can involve other people, but it is fundamentally a transcendent experience of the self, a personal experience of bliss that helps us touch into the essence of all creation.
If you see other meaning in this imagery, then go with that. Perhaps you feel like me, that the potential of sexual intimacy has been taken away from us by generations of false narratives and conditioning. Whenever people in power tell us something natural is bad for us or shameful, you can be sure that the activity connects us with our autonomous power and a wider part of Creation. It therefore becomes a threat to the establishment and something to close down.
So how do we reclaim our sexual power? I’m sure there are hundreds of ways but my suggestion here is a simple one. I see our sexual disconnection as symptomatic of our wider disconnection with nature. It’s no co-incidence that the metaphors within my shamanic journey were all nature based.
When we connect deeply with Gaia through sitting, foraging, gardening, walking etc we step out of time. We find simplicity, sensuality, rhythm, beauty and peace. These gifts nurture our bodies but also prepare us for that sacred connection with our sexual essence.