I have seen many clients in my practice who ask me to help them find consistent happiness. Their desire is to find happiness and stay in that state for the rest of their lives. I find that really interesting and I would like to share here how I try to work with this.
First of all, looking for positive emotions is fine, but if we do so at the expense of the heavier ones, these difficult emotions that we are trying to avoid will grow in power. The phrase ‘what we resist persists’ is so true, everything we push away from ourselves is immediately attracted in and if we look away from our fear, shame, sadness etc, we will still emit their energy from our shadow self and attract in experiences influenced by their vibrations.
We will also likely project what we are not prepared to experience in ourselves onto other people. For instance, if we are only willing to embrace our happiness, we might become angry when our partners express their sadness. It is uncomfortable when someone else is prepared to enter a space we are avoiding and this can be very detrimental to the relationship.
When we avoid something within us we are saying that we are afraid of it, that we do not trust that we can look into whatever that heaviness is and emerge safely out the other side. Resistance is born out of fear. Fear attracts things to be afraid of.
I would suggest that the best way to find light and positive emotions within us is to be prepared to turn towards all that is not in that state. In this way, we bring our conscious love and attention into our shadows which will naturally transmute them. When we connect with our emotional wounds from a non-judgmental, loving place, then that emotion must fade. It may be uncomfortable for a while as we connect with our shame, grief, anger etc but this kind of authentic process will allow us to step into the wound and out the other side.
So, going back to the point of this blog, I believe that if we strive to be happy all the time, we will likely achieve the opposite, as our hidden sadness grows in the strength given to it from our avoidance and fear. I prefer to target peace as a goal. This is a state that we can be in regardless of the emotions we are feeling and will facilitate a deep and loving connection with anything we encounter that is not based in love. Peace requires faith, courage and love, so when we are in that state any emotions we feel are easily transmuted. This is the way to move towards greater states of happiness without having to attach to that particular emotion as a constant in our lives.